Go West

That Thing is Really Wobbling;
It's Going to Really Smear That E Layer!

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By Dixpix

    Not long ago, I happened by a local watering hole and met my old friend and colleague, Sparky Corona. Sparky, who has been a Ham, General Class, for as long as I can remember, appeared to be completely relaxed on stool 6. However, appearance, in this instance, was deceiving. It seems Sparky has recently been reading and hearing a lot about the holes in the ozone layer.
    "Everyone is upset and excited about a few openings in the ozone layer but they are ignoring the really serious threat," moaned my friend, "The very real problem is the multitude of faults in the ionosphere!" This startling revelation, being news to me, seemed to herald a very interesting encounter. I ordered my usual beer and stated matter-of-factly, "I have no idea what you're talking about, Sparky.
    This opening on my part must have been what Sparky was looking for because he proceeded with abandon, "You must know about the lousy conditions on the Ham bands lately. Why just yesterday I lost a 7J6 and a BY1 for no logical reason! Stations I work fade from S-9 to S-0 faster than I can turn up the volume. How is a guy supposed to get WAS, not to mention DXCC, with this sort of thing being the order of the day?" "Darned if I know," I interjected. Sparky continued, "Well, let me tell you about it. I have figured it all out. The darned rockets, shuttles, and other silly gadgets that are being hoisted into outer space are punching huge, irreparable holes in our ionosphere, not to mention the troposphere, while on their way out of here. If you ever witnessed a launch, you must now realize just what I am talking about. I was in Cocoa Beach last year and saw the shuttle blast off. Why the fire blasting out of the rear of that thing was more than enough to barbecue a complete herd of elephants in no time at all. No wonder NASA is ripping such big holes in our blessed E layer!
    "Instead of bouncing off the ionosphere like they should, even blockbuster California Kilowatt signals are barreling right through these ragged openings, never to be heard by earthlings again. The little green men out there in cyberspace may be reading my signal but they're not in the habit of sending me QSL cards!"
    I managed to mumble something to the effect that perhaps the damage was not as serious or permanent as he imagined and that the ionosphere and tropo layers just might heal themselves thru the process of osmosis or something similar. "That's easy for you to say. All you have been doing lately is talk with locals on the 2 meter repeater," complained Sparky.
    What could be said or done to placate my good buddy? He was so upset that small talk wasn't going to help much. I finally figured that he might be consoled by a suggestion that he concentrate on satellite communications; thus taking full advantage of those gaping holes.
    I gave Sparky the address of AMSAT. He seemed satisfied, at least for the time being.

(The foregoing earth-shaking article was published in the October '89 edition of Spurious Emissions, the IRARC Newsletter.)

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